I am Mond

Oh David

2007-05-04T15:24:00.000+01:00

A good reason for independence for Scotland is that we would never have David Cameron as Prime Minister.

After 240 of 312 councils reporting in, the Conservatives are up 602 councillors and up 23 councils. Depressing, as they are over the symbolic 40% share of national voting, which apparently puts them in good position to win the next general election, although people don't always vote the same nationally. Thankfully, Cambridge has remained Lib Dem.

I think I may leave Engerland if DC (ho ho) takes gold.

Oh Jimmmbohhhhhh....

"Vote for Glasgow" or "unity is strength and our strength is numbers"

2006-11-15T14:40:00.000Z

As a member of Glasgow University, I have to vote in a referendum today on whether the Glasgow University Students’ Representative Council (GUSRC) should join the National Union of Students (NUS).

The GUSRC has some objective information and presents the "yes" argument and "no" argument.

I think we can disregard the issue of student discounts as you can already enjoy that benefit with the current non-NUS card. I believe there are two main points, in descending order of importance: representation and cost. We'll start with the easier topic of cost: the yes campaign states that that cost is £50,000 (actually £52,531.25), which is a lot of money, but it is stated by the Yesses that "that’s not even 5% of total student body funding". Looking at the information, this is calculated by including all the money allocated to the SRC, GUU and QMU including funds for capital expenditure. This is a bit misleading, as it will be the SRC who will have to pay the affiliation fee, which is ~12% of their total income. Although the University may be able to help with the cost; with 19,547 students this is only £2.69 per student. Thus, I don't believe that this should be a decisive issue.

Next, representation. This is a much more difficult issue to reason about, as it is very difficult to quantify. The no campaign highlight issues of accountability, under-representation, disorganisation and destructive inner-politics. The University of Sunderland, who disaffiliated, concur. The Noes give the following example regarding the lecturer strikes:

In a 3-hour executive meeting dominated by Non-Student issues, they spent 7 minutes discussing the strikes.

I don't know much about the inner workings of the NUS, apart from what I have read on their website, so are they supposed to talk about student issues in an executive meeting? The SRC is not part of the NUS so should they have to discuss issues affecting Glasgow Uni? The strikes did affect other Universities that are affiliated with the NUS, so did the seven minutes pertain to just Glasgow? Regarding the strikes in general, what did the NUS actually do? The Noes say that the NUS wouldn't take action but the SRC did; what is to stop the SRC from doing this if they are part of the NUS? The backbone of the argument seems to be that the NUS will replace the SRC, which I don't think is the case. If the NUS can do what they say they can, surely, they will be an additional implement for students?

With differences between the Scottish and English education systems and the vast majority of members from England, I originally thought that the NUS would neglect specific issues such as the strikes, but there is a NUS Scotland arm.

I don't have much more time to research these questions since voting closes at 6pm and I should get back to work. I think I will vote "yes" because the cost per student is not much and although I am unable to say whether the NUS can effectively represent the University of Glasgow, we can make a more informed decision after a year (and part ways if required), plus the GUSRC will still be there.

--
mond

P.S.
On the other hand, I'm not sure I want to be part of an association who's website name includes the term "online". If you have a website then you are online, so there is no need to say so.

P.P.S.
Also, do the "Aasian-looking" people described in paragraph 7 have any relation to those "Assians"? Christopher? ;)

I wish my wife was as dirty as this

2006-04-27T22:45:00.000+01:00

Alternate title: "I thought this was bowling for weirdos."

Did the Muppet Personality Test too. It came out surprisingly accurate.

Man o man, been pure ages since the last posting, I mean... I did post but it's this damn Internet, it took so bloody long for it to be sent! Nightmare.

What's been going? If you're reading this then you already know. In case you want more Mond! Mond! MOND...! Yes please. Always!

I looked back at the last couple of posts to get an idea of the void of MondNews.com to tell. Here goeeessss.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got a Ford Fiesta Zetec that has three "doors", a 1.4 litre engine and is in Panther Black. However, it doesn't make me feel like a large black cat :( It's nice having a car. Though the novelty of driving soon left.

The course is going well. I'm in my third term with two sets of exams behind me. Only two courses this term, which is only five weeks long opposed to ten weeks for the last two.

Interesting things that has happened at the ISLI
After a rebranding it's now called iSLI following the fashion of our times by putting small case vowels as the first letter, aka iGayDos (not as in Disk Operating System but as in The Gays - I know it doesn't make sense, but I find it funny so suck it). The website has been updated to reflect this and has a new logo, which is very horrible as it looks amateurish. Apparently the change happened because it was too expensive to print the gold colour of the letters in the previous logo - what about just using YELLOW guys? Also in the rumour mill - well some person that works there told me at a group All You Can Eat Chinese Outing and I've been told not to tell people this, so lets broadcast it over The Internet - is that the logo was designed by the sibling of a ISLI employee. It shows.

At one of the very first lectures, a lecturer did some pointless poll of students via hand raising and one of the questions he asked was "What kind of people do we have? .... Computing people? Electronics people? Librarians?", snigger from the class then an Asian guy audibly says "Africans".

Silence :(

The lecturer, astonished, says "What?" but he knew fine well what. Thankfully, the Asian guy repeated what he had said just to make sure those half asleep knew. Looks like Mr Asian and Mr African are now best buds so everything is A OK. Phew, racism solved!

Other Things
Walking out of Hillhead subway station, I had to cut though some Scottish Socialist Party promotion and noticed that a Big Issue seller asked one of the SSPers if he wanted to buy a magazine which the promoter declined while handing out "help the working people" flyers.

On my way to Livingston, while driving though Airdrie there is a great sign that has a yellow background with black square and black arrow pointing right. Anyone? My best guess is there is a giant black square from some exotic land on display on the main street, sort of like King Kong in New York.

Also on my driving travels I saw this phrase on the back of a "Traditional Builders" white van: "I wish my wife was as dirty as this". Made my day. I'm sure this is not a new one but I don't hang around cars at night much.

My free laptop from the ISLI was hopefully ordered this week so it should be here soon. It's a Sony Vaio SZ1 XP. Shiny and sexy! Had to get the extended 2 year warrenty and I threw in a case for it too. As long as the total order was under £1500 excluding VAT "it's ok"(tm).

Holiday
Mariken and I have booked up holidays for the start of June. We will spend one week in an apartment in Tarragona, Spain, which is just below Barcelona and was the Roman capital of Spain so there will be plenty of "old stuff" to see. Then we'll get the train to Barcelona and spend a week there. Both places are private apartments that have worked out much cheaper than hotels. Flying into Reus with Ryanair works out quite cheap too, although we left it a couple of days and the prices doubled :( Still only £24 return but with taxes this comes to £50. The apartment in Barca is near the Sagrada Familia which according to my extensive knowledge of the area is the drugged up religious creation of Gaudi. Yeah.

I have my last exam on the 2nd of June then we go on holiday the next day until to the 17th. I then have one week for moving as I start at ARM in Cambridge on the 26th.

Moving
I'm looking forward to starting with ARM away down there but it's getting a little scary due to moving away from everyone I know and trying to get a nice place to stay. Have been thinking about buying somewhere as my Dad and I talked to the bank and my parents can go guarantor on a mortgage as I would not be able to get a decent one. However, Cambridge is very expensive so I might have to stay further out, which I don't really want to do as the road congestion is very bad (plus they have congestion charging) and I would like to cycle to work.

If I want to rent a one bedroom flat for myself I have set a limit of £700 per month. I have seen a few nice places but it's a lot of money. Might share for a wee while then think about moving to a place of my own (either renting or buying).

That's it, guyz.

Byeeeeee!

--
mond

Photos of Lochaline Holiday

2005-09-16T15:44:00.000+01:00

You can take a mosey on over to the photo album here to see some lovely snaps of the West of Scotland.

--
Derek

LEG

2005-09-14T21:49:00.000+01:00

Well, to cut a long "mond" story short, I have accepted EngD sponsorship with ARM! :)

Ten CVs were sent to ARM for consideration, five of which were selected for a telephone interview, then two were asked down to Cambridge for a face-to-face interview and then one would be selected for sponsorship.

I had my telephone interview with them last Wednesday, with the manager of R&D and another top guy, which went well as they emailed me half an hour after asking me down to Cambridge on Monday the 12th.

Flights were arranged for me by Sandie at the ISLI for the Monday morning, arriving at 11am for my 2 hour technical interview from 2pm then getting the return flight at 9pm from Stansted (which was only half an hour away using a direct train). I wasn't too happy about this as it would be a very long day so I would of prefered staying over on the Sunday night. However, she wasn't "willing" to pay the extra, which was strange since it was ARM paying for it.

Anyway, it was a very long day and I was shattered coming home on the plane. (Though seeing all the lights from miles above on a clear night was very nice). The interview was split into two one hour sessions with different people. They asked me about my projects at Uni, FPGAs, things about using shared memory, paging, cache consistency, some ideas I had for a project, etc. Surprisingly, they didn't ask me about computer architecture even though I had studied up on it for a few days before.

The project had already been outlined and the abstract I got is below.

Title: Reliability implications of next generation SoCs.

Abstract:

Consideration of device reliability due to soft errors and wear-out is anticipated to become an increasingly prevalent requirement in future process geometries as feature size and voltage decrease, and still today, we have difficultly in understanding the detailed consequences and system wide effects of such errors in processing systems. How do we design cost sensitive systems to deliver existing levels of reliability with increasingly unreliable silicon?

This research project aims to investigate the design and integration of dependable computing measures. It will investigate the fundamental factors affects device reliability; including analysis, trends, and detection and recovery mechanisms, and explore how these can be integrated into future SoCs. The project will also investigate how reliability measures impact system level design, the impact on multi-processor and data engine systems, and how these can be reliably interconnected.

Initial proposals for key investigative areas:

1. Reliability of the single compute engine
(Fundamentals of dependable computing; analysis, trends, integration and development of error detection and recovery mechanisms)

2. System level design and integration of multiple interconnected processing elements, data engines, and peripherals
(ARM processor design and system level integration, processor interconnection, FPGA development)

3. Reliability at the system level, reliable interconnection, processing element wear-out and total system level reliability
(Integration of 1. and 2.)

The further I researched into it the more I was interested in it. The project is quite open in so much as that I'll be exploring what can be done and guiding it, which will be enjoyable.

So I will spend six months from the 3rd of October studying at the ISLI then I will move down to Cambridge to work on the project, occasionally coming up for some modules.

So I'll be down at Cambridge for about four years. Quite a big step really. I had to think about accepting it first, but it was too good an opportunity to pass. I really wanted to work for ARM, the EngD will be very good experience and I'll get to work on some cutting edge research with this project. Obviously, the down side being moving all the way down South.

I've talked it over with Mariken and what happens depends on where she finds a job. She had an interview with a company called Xplore Learning who have places near Cambridge but that would involve her moving down some months before me. If she gets a job up here then after I've spent some time down there then we can evaluate what we want to do.

Otherwise I've been looking around for cars. Some of the contenders are/were (all new cars):

Seat Ibiza 1.4 Sport 3dr
Vauxhall Corsa 1.2i SXi 3dr
Ford Fiesta 1.4 Zetec 3dr
Renault Megane 1.4 3dr
Fiat Punto 1.2 3dr
Citroen C2 1.1i

:( The Ibiza didn't have enough head room and didn't have a seat height adjustor, which was an optional extra (POOR). It was quite slow too.

:( The Corsa is quite nippy but it didn't have a steering wheel height adjustor so it grazed against my leg.

:) The Fiesta fitted me well but was quite bland inside, and well on the outside too. Seems like the best value though.

:) Although it may not be to everyone's taste, I like the shape of the Megane. It has cool things like: you start the car with a card rather than a key, full electric windows that can all be controlled from the driver's position, weird hand brake that looked like an accelerator from an airplane and stereo volume control on the steering wheel. Downside is that the three doors are difficult to come by and are on the expensive side for me.

:( The Punto was nice looking but the underside of the dashboard hits my shins when I reach for the pedals.

:( The C2 is nice to look at and surprisingly fits me. However, there is no room in the back, which I suppose is not an issue as I would hardly ever have more than one passenger. The engine is a bit small so it's quite slow. But the bigger 1.4 is a bit pricey.

So I have a test drive with the Fiesta tomorrow and I'll need to get one for the Megane as well because that will ultimately be the decider. Also, the Fiesta is cheaper ;) But the Megane uses a magic keycard! Oh dear.

Ta Ta....

--
mond

Signing On and In

2005-08-31T20:01:00.000+01:00

Aw'rite man, hooz it goin'?

I may have to speak like that now as I'm now claiming Job Seekers Allowance (aka the/tha dole, benefits, ... oh dear I can't think of any other slang terms, that's quite poor. If anyone has any other terms please put them in comment).

Of course, I'm being quite derogatory to people who are unemployed by stereotyping them but it does seem true when I'm waiting in the job centre. (Which obviously makes it OK). Apologies though.

I don't think I'm alone though. According to Joe I was brandished as "dolescum" by Bruce and Peter during a recent "web communication session" (ISOCHRONOUS?) which I didn't realise. But there you go.

I was initially put off claiming JSA because of a few concerns: there is a certain amount of stigma attached to being unemployed and having to claim money from the Government (as demonstrated by myself), and I think that after 5 years at Uni I thought I would have a job in a good company, so it doesn't reflect very positively on myself. In the end I decided to get it as I'm actively looking for a employment anyway and I kinda need it.

The interview for the ISLI went well as I was told at the end of the day that I had been shortlisted. I believe there is about 16 candidates that have been shortlisted but there is only 8 places available (due to funding). The interview was carried out by two of the head guys but it wasn't like other interviews I had been to because they where trying to discern if I really wanted to do the EngD.

The next stage is for my CV to be sent out to companies looking for sponsorship, only once that is secured will I be able to study for a EngD. In the mean-time I have accepted their offer of a MSc in System Level Integration as a back-up in case they don't find a sponsor by October. In which case they will keep looking until one is found and I can be transferred across. However, there is no guarantee. The first year of the EngD is equivalent to doing the MSc anyway so I'll have a better chance come next year of being sponsored as I would already be a year in to the EngD. I will get my fees paid (circa 3,500 pounds) and be given a stipend of 6,000 pounds so I would be stupid not to do it. It's only another year anyway... (I'm won't be so positive come exam time ;))

This would mean I would become a postgraduate student at the University of Edinburgh. I have an information pack about freshers' week and that, which is quite strange as it's like I'm starting Uni all over again.

I might not actually have to go on the MSc anyway as I had an interview with Spiral Gateway, which went well, I think. It was carried out by the CEO and the founder, which was quite good. I was quite interested in one of their products called RICA (Reconfigurable Instruction Cell Array) and asked a number of questions on it to show that I had prepared and was interested in working for the company. They have a fourth person to interview next week so I should hear back from the soon.

I was informed today that I have got a telephone interview with ARM next week. This is the first stage with a pool of 5 students, 2 of which will go for a face-to-face interview in Cambridge and then 1 will be selected for sponsorship. As the EngD will be carried out in either Sheffield or Cambridge, the ISLI phoned me to say if it was OK to accept the interview as I had said that I would prefer to stay in Scotland. I thought that I would just go with it to see what happens.

I've had several emails from interested recruitment companies who have seen my CV on Monster.co.uk but they haven't got back to me yet. I don't think there would be much point chasing them up as I'm going to do the MSc anyway.

I guy from a small recruitment firm called me to ask if he could send my CV to a company called Memex (they maintain a huge criminal intelligence database) and one called 4i2i (they mainly develop video processing solutions on FPGAs, for the likes of NASA). I said yes to both although I wouldn't actually want to work for Memex as it involves...shock, horror... Windows programming, which = BLEUCH. I was very interested in 4i2i even though it would mean I would have to move the Aberdeen, however, they are doing quite well and apparently are looking to set up in Edinburgh too, which would be better. However, I phoned him on Monday past as I hadn't heard from him in two weeks, to hear that 4i2i weren't interested (boooo!) as I wasn't specific enough for them or something (he didn't really explain why exactly even though I asked him twice). He also said Memex would make a decision in a couple of days but I don't care though so I'm not going to follow it up.

I still haven't heard back from the teacher I had tried to contact about a HMGCC reference (I phoned the school on again on Monday there), so I'm going to give up and ask someone else.

On Saturday there I got back from a weeks holiday in Lochaline (which is in Morvern and getting there from Oban seems to do bad things to Google Maps) which I spent with Mariken and her Mum in a cottage overlooking the loch. Mariken's Mum, Dineke, was at the Edinburgh festival and as she doesn't like driving in cities we had to make our own way there, by getting the bus to Oban, then the ferry across to Mull, then a 10 min taxi ride along a bit to Fishnish to get the ferry across to Lochaline. I had never seen much of the West coast (not even Oban or Fort William - poor, I know), so it was quite an eye opener to see how beautiful, dramatic and serene it was.

As the weather was a bit rubbish (mostly wet with short lived dry spells), we mostly went touring around the area along scary single track roads in Dineke's wee car, which was fun as it combined dryness, site-seeing and little physical activity :) A few times we did go on walks that were really enjoyable anyway, like one time we went to the fossil burn to find "devil's toenails" (the remains of the Bivalve, a small shell comprised of a flat underside lid and a curly upper section). And we went for a walk along the beach and tried to find muscle pearls that involved smashing open the muscle with a rock and fingering it's insides. I got the smashing part done but the fingering part was too manky for me so I just left them lying on the rocks. Go me: destroying innocent life. Mariken and I also did the rock walk, which involved crossing a stretch of volcanic jagy rocks. I was obviously the "main man" so I took all the more difficult tracks causing slight injury to my knees. Oh yeah. There was a super-size crunchie at the end of it so it wasn't all just for kicks.

We also walked to Loch Tearnait (which is the loch in the middle of that map). There is a bit of interesting history here about the place, just scroll down to "Traditional History". That was amazing as we crossed through about 5km of absolutely serene, hilly, landscape. Once we got there we visited a bothy that overlooked the loch and were invited in my two guys for a cup of tea. After much protesting against me actually wanting a tea they just gave my a cappuccino. We talked to them for a bit to find out they were employed by the estate owner to fix up the bothy and had been coming here for some years. They also told us about a fox they enticed into the place and a otter that lives down by the loch. We also saw a shrew in the bothy which was nice.

Other places that we went were: Drimnin where we met a long serving postie that Dineke knew and that was that, Strontian which gave its name to the element strontium that was used in radioactive shielding and TV sets, you can read about some of the history mentioned here. Will save me the hassle :) Went to Fort William too but it was raining and misty so couldn't see much of Ben Nevis.

On the way home I got the bus from Fort William to Glasgow and we passed through Glencoe, which was one of the most stunning and worst bus journeys I have ever been on. Stunning due to the scenery and worst due to there being fuck all leg room (that resulted in red scratches and markings on my knees) and this fucking tourist in the seat next to me who kept on dozing off to sleep, which meant she kept head butting my arm as her head swooned when crossing over to ZZZ-land. <;-(' (which apparently means that "I'm spitting mad").

That's one long post....

There are pictures too, which will go up in the NET soon, aren't you so excited, eh? EH?!

Toodle loo,

--
mond

I'm Moblogging!

2005-08-08T17:34:00.000+01:00

This is a test post from my mobile phone.

Aren't I the coolest chap in town.

ISLI

2005-08-01T20:42:00.000+01:00

Yeah! I have an interview for an EngD at the Institute of System Level Integration in Livingston :D

It's on Friday from 9.30am till lunch time. I've been told I'll get a tour of the centre, a talk about the programme, a interview by two persons and then lunch.

The interview will be about what I've done at Uni, my research interests, whether I'm able to move outside Scotland and whether I have objections to working in defence companies.

On my application I put down that my main research interest are in the area of reconfigurable computing using FPGAs, which could be used for safety critical, distributed, low power applications and might look into innovative Intellectual Property (IP) designs, algorithm development, hardware/software co-design or tool support.

An offer of acceptance is based upon this interview and if they can find me an appropriate company to carry out the research project for up to three years. If a company is interested, I would then get an interview with them.

I think I would prefer to work in Scotland (to help the Scottish economy and not contribute to the "brain-drain") and not in a defence company but I wouldn't be against it if it were a really good research project in a good environment.

The first year is usually spent studying the same sort of modules the MSc students do, so that will give me greater insight into what I may want to research.

I'm still waiting on a high school teacher getting back to me (I had to get the school to pass on my request) to be a character reference fo HMGCC.

I should still be looking for jobs too :(

Byeee.

--
mond

C3

2005-07-28T12:26:00.000+01:00

About two weeks ago I had applied for part-time work at a computer repair/sales shop called C3 Computers who are located in...wait for it.... Cumbernauld town centre! Oh yeah! Go me. I hand to give them my CV and a hand written cover letter (to show the applicants penmanship - actually). In the cover letter I was honest and told them that I was looking for some part-time work until I could find full-time employment in industry. I did say that although the MEng wouldn't be directly useful it does teach one a lot of the core, transferable skills that would be helpful. I told them I had some customer experience too and that I have helped a lot of my parent's friends with their PC problems.

The vacancy was only for a Saturday and some other weekday, which would be fine for me as that was all I was looking for as I just needed a little cash. I slightly regretted handing in the application as I wasn't very keen on working in the town centre as it didn't really say much for what I've done. On the other hand, it would be better than working in a pub in Glasgow because it is something that I'm interested in, better hours and don't have to travel that far.

Today I got a letter from them to say that they have got someone else so that was a bit disappointing but I didn't think I would get it anyway. Oh well, still no work for me :(

I sent off my application for a EngD (Engineering Doctorate - basically equivalent to a PhD but one year is spent studying and the other three carrying out a research project at a company) at the Institute of System Level Integration in Livingston. It's the only one of it's kind in the UK and was formed by four Universities: Glasgow, Strathclyde, Edinburgh and Herriot Watt. The Institute specialises in system on-a-chip research, which is the area I am most interested in. I hope to do some research in reconfigurable computing using FPGAs.

They only have a certain amount of positions because if you are accepted then you receive about 14,000 pounds per annum as a stipend from the EPSRC and at least 5,000 pounds (I have no pound sign on my keyboard) from the company that sponsors you. Before they offer you the studentship they actually find you a suitable industrial sponsor.

It sounds really interesting and I think it would be better than a PhD for me as I would have three years experience in a relevant company at the end of it thus, hopefully, giving me a better chance to get a job in that sector. That's the problem at the moment: the companies I want to work for all require a few years experience but how am I supposed to get that!

Anyway, fingers crossed. :)

I'm still waiting on one last referee (my school teacher) getting back to me before I send off the application forms to HMGCC. I should really find out when the deadline is. Plus, I should start thinking of other character referees I could use whom have known me for about five years before Uni.

Andy and I have been asked to write a couple of pages on our project at Grundfos so that it can be entered in the annual student project awards. We would get a bottle of champagne just for entering and I think about 1,000 pounds for winning. Nae bad. Should really do that at some point. I think the deadline is quite soon though.

Right, I'm off to get some lunch, byeeeeeeeeeee

--
mond

Shards of Glass!

2005-07-27T19:13:00.000+01:00

Several interesting events have happened since the last time I posted:

Everyone shall now have to refer to me as Master Mond due to the fact I got a 2.1 for my Master of Engineering in Electronic and Sofware Engineering degree at the University of Glasgow. Now I can remove the "(expected)" part from where it says "MEng 2.1 (expected)..." on my CV :D Firstly I was just relieved to get a 2.1 as I hoped to but after a while it has sunk in and I'm just really happy.

On the job front I went for a preliminary interview with Her Majesty's Government Communication Centre (HMGCC) just outside Hanslope which is between Milton Keynes and Northhampton. Have a wee zoom out just to see where Milton Keynes is as I didn't realise how far South it was.

All accomodation and travel expences were paid in cash at the end of the interview. I thought it was quite strange for them to invite me all the way down just for a preliminary interview, which usually is done over the telephone. I asked this and found out that they normally do do it over the phone but in some cases they like to see and talk to the person face-to-face. So I think that was a good thing.

I flew down to Luton from Glasgow and then had to get to Milton Keynes Central rail station. I looked up the times on the national rail website to find it was operated by Virgin trains but the mode of transport was a bus, which I took to be a mistake. So I got on the free bus from Luton airport to the Parkway train station only five minutes away (I took this route on my way down to London 2 years ago so I was still familiar with it). However, after talking to a ticket guy he said it was complicated and expensive to get to Milton Keynes by rail from there. After my argument of "but I saw it on The Internet" (so it must be true) was shot down in flames, he instucted me to go back to the airport and get a bus direct. Which I indeed did get and it was a raillink bus operated by Virgin trains. So the moral of that situation is sometimes The Internet knows best (TM). (Using Google Maps you can see the parts of the journey I took, for this stage see here.)

I then took a taxi to Olney, where I was booked into a B&B there called The Lindens. It was very nice place as you can see from the photos. It was strange how the put me in a place quite far from HMGCC. I went next door for some food (which I previously researched ;)) at The Two Brewers. I had a nice Chicken, Ham and Mushroom pie with veggies and a pint of local "Fiesta" beer/ale, which was really nice though I slightly regretted it later on when I did some last minute preparation for the interview.

As I was suffering from the cold and hayfever I didn't get a very good sleep and I also got attacked by a ghost fly in my ear. Mrs Gregory (the landlady) was very nice and cooked my a tasty breakfast. The taxi was supposed to pick me up at 8.30am as my interview was a 9am but he never arrived until 8.50am as he said he got lost. I did phone HMGCC to tell them so that was ok. After discussing the taxi driver's hippity-hop musical interests and "what the wimen are like in Glasgow" I arrived at about 9.10am.

The site was large and was surrounded by lots of high, barbed fences. There was even inner "walls" (like a castle but with fences, if you know what I mean? Yes? No? N/A?). I first went to the reception to get signed in (they checked the letter in invitated Ii received and my passport), then onto the gatehouse of the main building to get my visitors pass and hand in my mobile fone and digital camera. According to the sign this was a "sterile area" :O. Through some more security doors in the main building I was greeted by Vicki who gave me a introduction, what to expect, etc. A sign said that the "Security Level" was "Black" - just so you know.

The interview took place in a room which you could only reach by going back out the main building. It was conducted by a engineer guy who asked some technical questions and a recruitment lady who asked, surprisingly, HR-type questions on teamwork, why I applied, what my interests are, etc. The technical questions varied from electronic ones like design an XOR gate using NANDs and aliasing due to oversampling to software ones like what languages I was comfortable with. Nothing very difficult.

So I thought it went well! I got a letter in this morning saying that I got thought to the final interview panel stage so that's good news! :D

Acceptance is conditional upon security clearance and a vetting procedure, which can take between 4 and 15 weeks!! :O They need five references, check everything to do with my background, drug test and how much alcohol I consume (hopefully by not checking my anus as my dad insists but by checking my hair as Iain suggests).

As the interview was delayed it was a rush to get back to Milton Keynes for the bus at 11.55am as the next one was not till 12.55. It took 45 mins to get to Luton and check-in closed at 2.15. I did make it there on time but I eventually found out that the 11.55am bus broke down at Luton so I had to wait for the 12.55, which was supposed to get at Luton Airport at 1.50pm. To help in matters, only 5 mins from the aiport the fucking bus driver decided to stop and visit a shop for a fucking wank or something (actually a can of juice and a packet of crisps). Most annoying it was.

Eventually I did check-in on time. However, after getting changing from my suit and then waiting in a long queue for departure security clearance I had to run to the gate (the very last one as well!) after they did a "final call for passenger Graham". I just made it and was last on the plane - a bit embarrissing. But it did leave a few minutes earlier and the plane managed to make it into Glasgow 20 mins earlier. Go EasyJet.

Lastly, I got back from a week in Greece with Mariken last Friday, which I really enjoyed. My first actual holiday in five years or so! We did very little except sleep, drink and eat. Though we did visit Athens, which was so amazing - not the actual city but all the ancient Greek sites and some of the neo-classical buildings including the uni. The Parthenon and the Acropolis was amazing: the architecture and all the history surrounding it. The photos of everything are here.

I started this post on the 30th June but my internet was down so I've now became bothered to put up those photos and post this thing.

Restructure THIS!

2005-04-26T22:49:00.000+01:00

Just in case you were wondering, I am back on the hunt for a job as I didn't get the Agilent one. :(

I received an email yesterday afternoon that said:

"...you were shortlisted for a position within out Signal Analysis Division, and due to your knowledge in DSP, you were our number one candidate. Unfortunately, due to restructuring, this position was cancelled on Friday last week and therefore we can not proceed with an offer of employment. However, you were an extremely strong candidate and we would like to hold your details on file and should any additional suitable vacancies emerge we can be in contact with you."

So basically I had the job until Friday there when they decided to cut it. Obviously rather disappointed, especially due to the nature of the rejection, as I really wanted to work for them. Och well, not the end of the world like, but it would of sure made it a nicer place for moi! ;)

Just reassuring to know that during studying for exams (starting in two weeks!!), I have something secured at the end of it, so I don't have to worry about getting one. Suppose it will make me more focused on studying as that is thee main thing to worry about right now. I'll just have to put aside some time every week to look and apply for jobs.

As a matter of fact, I just applied to two positions with Nokia (in England though). May as well, just to see what happens. I heard back from Nallatech that they passed on my details to the engineering department but they have "no plans for a graduate recruitment campaign this year" :(

Anyone have a job then? ;)

--
Derek

Interview

2005-03-30T17:15:00.000+01:00

Hello...

Today I had an interview with Agilent Technologies UK Ltd at their R&D centre over in South Queensferry (right next to the Forth Road Bridge). My dad was kind enough to drive me there in the morning and come pick me up, which saved a lot of time and hassle getting the train. The interview started at 9.30am and I didn't leave the building until about 1.30pm.

Firstly I was introduced to an HR lady, Carole, with whom I had been in contact previously, got a coffee then was taken into a very small meeting room where the two interviewers were waiting for me. The were both from marketing, although I think they had a technical background. They were very interested in my project at Grundfos and I had to draw a diagram on a flip chart and explain it to them. One guy seemed really interested but I thought the other seemed a bit distant. Finally they asked me the usual HR interview questions like: why I applied, what are my strengths and weaknesses, etc. It lasted about an hour and I thought it went very well.

Next up was an hour of technical questions from two younger guys. They started off with "What is a Watt?" (pull spazy face and make a sound like a demented cow), to asking what a linked list was, C programming questions (including giving me sample code to work out what was wrong), OOP questions, OS stuff. We ran out of time as I was able to answer them all fully. Sometimes even more than they expected and so answered a few of the next questions. There were more questions to come on RF but didn't get that far. So it was a breeze!

Then two other guys took me for a free lunch, had a chat with them (possibly a wee informal covert interview, getting to know my personality maybe) and then they took me on a tour of one of the development buildings. I was quite impressed with some of their test equipment. For example, there is a wireless test instrument that you can set up with different profiles to act as a receiver/transmitter/base station for Bluetooth, Wifi and GSM. That was pretty cool.

After that I met up with Carole again to have an informal chat where she explained to me the benefits of working at Agilent and I had to complete a medical questionnaire.

When I got home I had already got an email that said I was on the shortlist and that I " interviewed extremely well and that [I] presented [my] project particularly effectively and had a good solid technical knowledge". So that sounds really promising.

I think they are looking for around 12 graduates this year and they do not finish interviewing until 18th of April, so I have a bit of a wait!

That means I'll have to keep applying for other jobs. I heard back from ARM, after I had contacted someone I knew from the last time I applied, as there was no word from the agency that now deals with applications, to find out that I was too late for the System-on-a-chip Verification Engineer position and there were stronger candidates for the CPU Design Engineer and CPU Design Verification Engineer. Obviously, I'm disappointed but it's a lot better to know rather than not hear from them.

Next company that I'm going to apply to is Nallatech who have their HQ in, wait for it.... CUMBERNAULD. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing! If your 'naulders are interested the building is next to OKI, right next the roundabout, opposite the Shell petrol station and Little Chef.

At the moment I am busy with uni project work and an assignment. I still have to squeeze in study time as my first exam is in 6 weeks as of tomorrow! :''( As Mariken is going to visit her friend in Liverpool from tomorrow to Tuesday, hopefully I can take advantage of that and put in some studying.

Ciao for now brown cow, (???)

--
mond

For A Better Keyboard

2005-03-06T21:13:00.000Z

A little late but as promised the last in the remaing series of Denmark pictures. These capture the essence of our last weekend in Denmark, which we spent in the fantastic Copenhagen.

--
mond

1870

2005-03-06T20:32:00.000Z

Hello.

This summer there is a plan. A plan like no other. A plan so stupendous that...um, yep.

I would like to climb to the highest point in this map (1870m).

It's approx. 9km from my house in Balloch to The Beast. Sounds like an story for an exciting post-teen horror flick, yes? Entitled "Balloch to The Beast". Hmmm. Obviously we can't travel in a straight line (due to the fact that one of my legs is shorter than the other) so it will be longer. I think it should take about 3-4 hours. Would need to camp there too, obviously not on the PEAK. Would be nice to see the reservoir. Guyz, it's been a while since we done a wee campo expo plus Gman has been back for a bit so who would like to go?

Possibly filming opportunity from Jetcow, yes?

Had an interview with Agilient Technologies on Wednesday there which went well, though I know I got one technical question wrong. That was at 11am and they got back to me at 1.33pm the same day to invite me to a face-to-face interview on the 30th of March. A reason why they were so quick maybe down to the fact that I said to the interviewer that I tried to run Linux on my 4G iPod and he may of got the idea that I did this all by myself from scratch as I didn't mention the actual ipodlinux project. :O

The format is an hour talking about my project and report at Grundfos and an hour "technical" interview, which doesn't sound so fun. When I asked the interviewer what this may contain he said it could be writing some C. :( That means I'll have to brush up on that before then. The actual position is a general software or hardware engineer so there is no definite role.

I spent the weekend there at Mariken's flat and still managed to get some uni work done, which was rather good of us. The labs are 2 mins away from her flat though. Went to see The Life Aquatic with Stevesy (hehe) on Friday night at the Grosvenor. I really enjoyed it. It had a different sort of humour to mainstream comedies - i.e. not in-yer-face humour but more subtle all the way though with peaks here and there. For some reason I want a red hat now.

I watched the last episode of season 1 of Battlestar Galactica, so I'm really really looking forward to the next season in the summer (I think). Multi-cliff hangers. And quite unexpected. I kept on accusing everyone as a Cylon :( He's a Cylon. She's a Cylon ... YOU'RE A CYLON!

--
Derek

Blog Time No See

2005-02-22T17:05:00.000Z

Poor I know.

And I not just talking about the title either.

The main thing that has been holding me back from posting again is that I just can't be bothered writing about the last three weeks of our time in Denmark.

So for some reason I can be bothered and I bestow upon thee some events I can remember are:

Grundfos Xmas party which we arrived to late - yes due to me. We arrived not long after the actual time we were supposed to be there but I think everybody got there earlier. The FREE beer and schnapps was probably the reason. As everyone had just sat down we had to find a place to sit at another table from our department dudes. So on came the free beer and schnapps (used to wash down the pickled herring). We talked to some of the guys around us, one of them was a big manager man, whom I saw a bit smashed at the Christiansborg later! The food was quite good. No turkey though, which was most poor. Though the roast potatoes were awesome. There was a young band playing some Xmas music which wasnae bad.

The bar was staffed by three lovely young ladies (or was it two?) who - through the art of a wink - we got to keep our pitcher of beer loaded up at our table. Later our Danish friend Lars was chatting them up (even though he has a gf) and tried to get either of them to dance with him. It eventually worked with his second choice after a bribe of five pounds! Near the end, Andy and Lars had a Moon walk competition. Andy won after his literal translation.

I also remember meeting this old English dude, who gave me a cardboard like cigar (not a reference to his knob) and I beat him at table football 10-9 after coming back from 1-9 down :D As the event was in a school there were other facilities, like table tennis and pool that kept the drunkards amused.

Later in Christiansborg, it was only Lars and I who continued the nights events as Andy dropped out like the big Perry Como he is (bit harsh really). He missed Lars asking every woman in the place to dance. I think he danced with one and declined from a punch in the face by a pissed off bf. I danced to a Nephew song with Lars. Plus there were two ladies that came in that were dressed up like Victorian high class woman. One in a red dress and the other in a green one. They had wigs too. The green clad woman showed lifted her skirt to show me her stockings and pants. Thumbs up there. No, not actually 'THERE'! Oh dear...

Some other night we were in Christiansborg a Danish guy bought a bottle of Hot and Sweet, which is neither but actually cold and salty, and shared it with us. Due to national pride and peer pressure I drank a few. Or maybe that was the Xmas party night... who knows.

Oh aye, when Andy's friend Paul was over and we went to Cborg, where we ran into some friends - Palle and his gf. There, a girl came up to me and after the usual "not Danish - talk English please", she actually said this (remember I was sitting with more than 5 people): "you sit there all alone with your friends". What? I had to get her to repeat it several times due to loud music and it NOT MAKING SENSE. After I told her I had a gf she said "oh no, I am professional dancer". Again WHAT? WTF, etc. Now, this girl did NOT look like a "professional dancer", she was a bit chubby and small. I remember dancing with her for a song and proving that I was in fact the better dancer. She eventually got it on with our Swedish friend Tobi who was six or seven years older than her (he was 25). They were at our table while I was dancing and caught glimpses of them tonguing each other while there was other people there. Tobi was also fingering her under the table. Oh yeah....

When I was dancing with Paul (yes I do dance with girls, but that shouldn't be mentioned ;)) I decided to start a wee game. The rules were as follows: I would grab someone's ass nearby, preferable a man, and turn away to look as if Paul did it. Fun game. Paul went solo for a bit and touched up this older woman. When she turned round and her big husband figured out what he done, he said something to Paul in Danish, so Paul replied "It's nothing personal" and groped the guys ass too. Hehehe...

Aww shite, I remember another incident where I saw this guy from the Grundos football club/thing whom I had met before at the bar. There was this big old guy with a large beard in front of him, so I thought it would be funny to stealthily grab the old guys ass and he would naturally blame it on the football guy right behind him. However, "stealthily" equated to me leaning over (in broad sight - with his eyes following me) and grabbing his ass good and proper. Oh dear... He just kept staring at me and I tried a few "it wasn't me looks" to no avail, so I moved round to the far side of the bar.

F U N T I M E Z.

Before returning to the SCO, we spent two nights in Copenhagen, which is such an amazing city. The architecture of some of the buildings was just unbelievable. Some of them here f'in HUGE. There are pics on the digital camera of our adventures but I can't find it. Also, there wasn't much adventuring as I has a proper case of the shits. Yeah!

In other news, I was in The Loft on Friday there as Iain McNaught is leaving for a round-the-world trip plus he was 22. I had beer for the first time in about 2 weeks. It was McEwans 80. It was soo good I nearly came.

Beer was off the menu due to a detox and weight loss programme courtesy of The South Beach Diet where most carbs are off the menu. Worked though as I lost a stone in 12 days and kept it off. I can eat carbo things fine now but not white carbos like white bread, white pasta, white rice, etc. They have been replaced by the brown varieties which taste much the same but are better due to some reason I can't remember.

The result is that I have lost my beer/cake belly from Denmark which is good. Less man boob action too. And I have been going swimming with Mariken twice a week for a few weeks now.

That night ended up in the 'Dive', which I suggested, for one last time there. It was quite empty. I think Cheesy Pop at the QM is the student black hole for a Friday night. There was a guy there with a FightStar t-shirt which I HAD to go up to him an mock him for. His band apparently supported them recently. I made my humble exit from the conversation as not to get hit.

The night ended with Iain getting thrown out of the Dive again. And on that bombshell the rest of the group left, i.e. me and Mariken. Woo yeah!

I give my placement presentation to the university tomorrow so I have spent yesterday and today going over it, thus why I am writing this right now. Then it's swimming time and then meeting up with Iain and some ESE guyz for some eats at Ashoka. Looking forward to a good curry. Not the best place I know, but it's quite good.

Friday is my big bad birthday. 22 I shall be. Looking forward to it actually, though I think that 21 sounds nicer. Nice figure that. So it's from 7.30pm in The Loft so we can commandeer a few tables. It's a joint occasion between Laura, Cammy and I so there should be quite a few there. Not sure what club we'll go to. Dive??! Hehe.

I have a telephone interview with Agilent on the 2nd of March too. In total I've applied to Apple (again, they haven't got back to me), ARM (3 positions: CPU Design Engineer, CPU Design Verification Engineer and SoC Verification Engineer, though nothing back yet), HP and Xilinx. I should really apply to others too.

I'm reading "Dude, where's my country?" by Micheal Moore which I got as a belated Sinterklaas present from Mariken's brother, Jan, when I was over in the NL in January. Technically it's from Sinterklaas though. I'm really enjoying it. Some of the content disgusts me though, I didn't realise the extent of the lies and connections. Not that I should treat this as gospel though, I'm still trying to be objective as he sways you though comedy. I dunno, I promised myself not to talk about my political thoughts as I haven't really paid attention to politics until the last few years so I don't really know much and of course I don't want to be made to look like a fool by my naivety. I leave general political banterings to Pete.

Oh well, it's just gone 7pm so I should have one last go-over of the presentation before watching some Battlestar G.

Thank you for reading down to here and I hope you are all well.

--
mond

"Real girls don't turn me on anymore"

2004-11-12T13:30:00.000Z

How much porn is too much?

The quote in the title is from a CSI Miami episode in which a porn star is killed by a fan who watches too much porn and blames her for making him a floppy chappie when it comes to his girlfriend.

Fortunately, H saves the day, the end.

So, what other things can we have too much of?

Cake?

In another example of Grundfos coolness (see free ice cream give away below) I was invited to a free cake gathering in the workshop, a minute away from where I sit. As Grundfos had won a design award for one of their pumps they had a wee cake celebration. I think anyone in the building could of went but you have to know someone to know when it was going down. The Cake: Othello cake. It's really good. Tried to find a picture of it but no luck . Click on the first picture of the guy coming out of the cake. Rather disturbing.

Later on that day, I went up stairs to see Andy and low and behold MORE CAKE! This time the reason was that the people on that floor had all recently moved there. I had half of a 12cm in diameter orange/choco/nut cake. Lovin' it.

That's when The Cake Fatigue started to set in, but I did it for Grundfos and finished the second piece.

There was some other delicious looking cake at another desk but there were two people sitting in front of it, i.e. guarding it all. I came up with a plan of waiting until both of them left then snatch some but the two guards obviously had the same idea. No doubt they were waiting on the other one leaving so they could take it home with them. It must have taken a long time for one of them to buckle as they were still there when I left for the day.

I planned to go into work the next day (Saturday) to do work as I said to my supervisor I would have a prototype working by Monday and it wasn't by the end of Friday. So I hoped that when I went into work on Saturday all the cake would have still been there. A long shot considering the two guards and cleaners. So, to reinforce my cake obsession, I had a dream that Friday night about going into work on Saturday and finding all the cake still there and munching it all.

Back to the real world...when I went in that day there was NOTHING :'(

Let's see, five paragraphs about cake, not bad. Is that too much??

***

So, it has been a long time since my last post. The sole reason is that I have been ULTRA busy. So busy in fact, that I have not been able to get around to emailing people and go on msn messenger for a bit o' chat. I'm tired and it's dark outside when I finish after a 8-12 hour day.

Here are some of the things - I can remember - that happened to me since last time:

The four of us (Andy, Tobi, Morton and I) went to Århus one Saturday and ended up in another Irish pub to watch some football with PINTS of beer. Mainly Guinness. The original plans were to go home, eat and then go out for some party action in Viborg. Instead we phoned a Danish friend from work, Lars, as he lived near the city to see if he could take us somewhere nice here instead. He invited us to his flat, which was apparently only 10 mins from where we were but ended up been a > 30 min walk, at which point we were close to turning around. He lives with his girlfriend, Marie, in a cosy (quite small - 1 bedroom) house that has been split up for rent. He set us to work on 60 cans of beer, which between the four of us, disappeared by 2-3am'ish. Can't remember how we managed it though. We were invited to a birthday party next door and we were there until 4-5am or so. It was an all lady party when we got there. Ten or so, aged 25-29. (Y) Found out two of them had been to Scotland for a while. We originally thought one of them said she worked in Coatbridge but later found out it was actually a similar sounding place (when spoken in Danish!) near Inverness. Another was in Edinburgh working in a bar I think. During our time there we played a strange drinking game that involved two teams (one of which was Team Scotland which included honouree DK lady members) 3 meters apart, facing each other with a bucket in the middle. The object of the game was to knock it over with a stick and drink, the winners are the ones who finish their drinks first. We won due to Andy's expert throwing skills and me having illegal swigs.

Later on I remember pushing around the garden two ladies in a wheelbarrow, but dropping them onto each other when trying to turn round a tree. If that wasn't fun enough, I pushed Lars down the street in the wheelbarrow for about half a mile or so. Oh yeah.

We were a bit disappointed when Lars didn't invite us to crash at his place so we had to pay £60 for a taxi home. Not too bad as there was four of us.

The next weekend Andy and I had two bottles of red wine (from the basket of goodies I got for falling off my bike) and some beer before heading to C'borg (Christiansborg - the local in tha Bjerringbro) where we met some DK ladies who, surprise surprise, worked at Grundfos too. SMALL WORLD EH. Beer was drank and stories were exchanged. It's nice to meet some new people. Plus there was a lady who was rather infatuate with Andy. Bonus.

While stumbling home about 5am, I vaguely remember us shouting "Welcome to the jungle" (Pistols and Daffodils) and a "Saruman" from me. Maybe we should of done so in our Danish accents as not to make it obvious who it was. :(

I also put stones on Tobi's Maw's car roof. Not sure why, but it seemed funny at the time. Only when I woke to the sound of Tobi, his Mum and his sister leaving the house to get into the car did I remember, and realised I'm a dick. I appologised later though so it's ok.

The next weekend was Hallowe'en so the four of us dawned C'borg again. I was dressed as a "Grundfos employee who forgot his badge" and Andy was Sean Connery via his impressions. Which I think are rather good. We had a round of "Bloodsucker" cocktail things but they were a bit mank as the main ingredient was Pernod. Met some other people but didn't get so wasted so not as much fun. Yes, you have to be wasted to have a good time in C'borg. Then you don't realise the DJ playing the same song for the fourth time that night. Week after bloody week.

The next day we managed to go to the Viborg - OB football game in Viborg. They won 1 - nil and played quite well, but took the foot off the pedal a few times and had to defend well. The main attraction is the Viborg team mascot: Willie the Crocodile (and the cheerleaders). He is such a crazy croc! Imitating the cheer leaders and the players when they are warming up. At half time this game, the cheer leaders made a circle around the centre and did a wee cheer dance. However, there was a WTF moment between Andy and I when over the words "Yippe-ka-yah mother fuckers!" blasted over the speakers. These were the lyrics to the techno song the cheerleaders were cheering too. The phrase was repeated at least four times. This is very strange indeed considering there were lots of children present.

That reminds me of another story I was told about a wolf mascot of another team who is a bit crazy and decided to beat the crap out of Willie at an away game. Strangely Willie didn't respond and took several punches to the head. When Willie was lying on the ground he took off his croc head to reveal... a 12 year old boy! Go wolf man!! As compensation the team invited the boy and his family to a all expenses paid full-VIP treatment at the next game.

Anyway, I think that brings us to the weekend just there. To "have a good time" in C'borg we went to the super market (Super Best) and purchased 4 bottles of wine and some beer. Andy and I drank two bottles on Friday night while watching Star Wars, A New Hope on sexy digital remastered DVD. Sadly, I declined going as I could barely keep my eyes open.

The following day Tobi, Andy and I went to Århus again as Andy wanted to check the bus times to the Airport (he left last night for a long weekend) but was really an excuse to get out of Bjerringbro. Tobi was looking for a suit so we followed him about for a while before heading off to that Irish pub again.

In Denmark, there it is a yearly tradition of the breweries releasing Xmas beer (Jule øl) which are rather tasty. So far I have tasted Carlsburg Jule (3 stars), Tuborg Jule (4 stars), the white labeled Royal Xmas which is sweet (3 stars but I think only with food) and my favourite: the blue labeled Royal Xmas (5 stars).

Later on Andy and I had another two bottles of wine and some beer before heading to C'borg. When we arrived about half past midnight there was "approx." 5 people there. WHIT. There was a roughly equal bar staff-to-customer ratio. Weird. We left immediately to check out Next Door (a club) but it looked as equally empty. Back to C'borg then for some stor (large) glasses of jule øl. There may have been more "Welcome to the jungle" too :(

Well if you have managed to read this far: 1. you have too much time on your hands and 2. thank you!

As a treat you get the following:

Hehe!

Med venlig hilsen,

mond

Call 112!

2004-10-07T17:40:00.000+01:00

Ah the catchy telephone number for the emergency services in Denmark - and other European countries. At least in Britain, when in need of help while falling to the floor after being stabbed by your wife you can easily remember and type 999 on the telephone.

The reason for calling the emergency stories? I was shot by terrorists/insurgents in Bjerringbro. No really. No re... well just no then.

Rather embarrassingly, I fell off my bike and was off work for two weeks. Oh yeah...

Here's the LOWDOWN (not associated with that BBC 1 television show):

I was cycling along on a wet late Wednesday (22nd of September) afternoon on my way home from work on my super cool, trendy, manly bike (which has now been changed). I was going pretty fast, though not sure how fast, upon approaching a 90 degree right turn. As this was my usual route I usually swing out to the left and cut in for maximum speed (ahh Grand Turismo), however, on this occasion there was oncoming traffic (Danes drive on the right hand side of the road) so I had to take the corner rather sharply. For some reason here they pave the junctions of minor road onto major with cobbles and as it had been raining early, the cobbles were quick slippery thus resulting in both wheels giving up with Mrs Friction and me landing right knee first into some jaggy cobbles and then some rolling and scratching and hurting. :)

I managed to get up and hobble about thinking it wasn't so bad until I looked down at my right trouser leg which was all ripped (this was after the hospital as I didn't have my camera at the scene of the accident, and if I did...yes I would take photos :)). Upon closer inspection I saw this (Note that this was a Crime Scene Investigators on-site visual representation of the wound). A big rip/hole just below the knee cap. I could actually see the muscle. The yellow bits are fat, as I later found out at the hospital.

So I had to flag down a passing van and after the usual "Do you speak English?", he phoned for an ambulance. The nearest hospital was in Viborg (about 30km away) so I had to wait for about 25 minutes before it arrived. Although Denmark has a national public health service the ambulances are operated by a private firm called Falck.

At the hospital, after the usual "Sorry, I don't speak Danish", I was seen to. Though I did have to wait for 10 minutes in the hallway on a bed. They had to check to see if I had damaged anything else by prodding inside the hole (oh yeah) but luckily I hadn't and just got anaesthetised, the wound washed and stitched up.

The A&E room and equipment was fairly dated (around the 70s) but everything looked very clean. The doctors and nurse were friendly and efficient so it wasn't long until I was out. I was to return in 12 days (as I didn't have a local doctor) for a check up and to remove the stitches. Now I understand why the 40% tax! However, it doesn't cover a free ambulance ride home :'( So I had to hobble to the train station.

As my right trouser leg was a right mess I had seriously considered tearing the other leg "just to match" thus avoiding looking like a fanny. :O Instead I just folded the flaps over and tucked it in my sock to cover my leg, thus NOT looking like a fanny ;)

I spent the next two weeks off work confined to the house resorting to watching daytime Danish cable TV (the topic of another post soon to follow = yeah!) Most things were a challenge, like putting on socks, as I couldn't bend my knee (too sore and I was afraid I might burst the stitches). I couldn't get the wound wet as I could get an infection because it was so deep, so even showering was a challenge (had to use a plastic bag and a belt as no string, wooo...thanks mond). On that Monday past I returned to the hospital for an appointment at 10.30am, which I arrived at 10am. I had just sat down to read thinking I could be there for some time, when an nurse called me in and took out the stitches, a doctor examined me and was out of the hospital at 10.25am. Go 40% tax!!

Everything was healing up well but I had to try to keep bending my knee as the muscles had seized up because I hadn't used them in 12 days. Quite sore but I managed to go some walks, one of which I got semi-lost in a big forrest by myself. Was like Mirkwood :D

Was back to work yesterday, which I managed to cycle to but I could not overcome The Hill. I'm glad to be back, mainly because of The Internet (it's been 2 weeks!) but the project I'm doing is really enjoyable.

Right, home time now. Have to move my stuff downstairs as this floor is being refurbished. The rest of the employees on this floor are relocating to another building far away (30 mins walk) but as Andy and I need lab access we have to stay here, so I'm getting a new desk in the lab downstairs. Andy's new desk is somewhere upstairs.

Finally,

I saw you wrapping presents but it wasn't even anyone's birthday

Good day sir,

--
mond

Like the sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of our Lives

2004-10-07T17:39:00.000+01:00

(I wrote this a couple of days after the accident but just posting it now)

Being marooned in the house after the accident, day to day life revolves around some basic tasks, some of which have been elevated to challenges.

In between napping, there is not much I can do, except be pulled into the realm of day time television - in reality there are many things I could do instead, but you know, they require, well...uh...I forget...

Who?

I want you to get excited about your life

- Dr Phil

And how can I not be with The Bold and the Beautiful dubbed in German. Does life not get any better? After deciphering the current goings-on, what has happened already and with the plot for the next month or two figured out, it was time to move on.

After sightseeing some Scando bingo (actually consisting of four tables each with approximately five men - below thirty - and a large number appearing on the screen every twenty seconds) and some Swedish kiddy song and dance action, next stop fun timez

I stumbled across a soap which within ten seconds I already knew to be of superior viewing quality to TBATB

Like the sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of our Lives

In a Hulk Hogan style: Oh yeah!!!!

I don't know if it is because I have been watching it for three days (they show the episode from the day before and two new ones each day) but it does feel as if I have seen these before, some years ago. The year at the end of the credits was 2000, so this may be true.

So lets bring you up to date with some of the juicy bits of the DOOL.

Thursday (23rd of Sept.) to present (Monday): Four teenagers go on a double date. The two lucky lads are Steve P (Pirate) and Steve G (Gambler) and the gallous gals are Roisin V (eVil) and Roisin P (Popular). (I would like to point out I can't remember their names, thus Steve and Roisin - pronounced Row-sheen). Now Roisin P and Steve P have been friends for as far as they can remember (to be honest, that may not be that far) so when Steve G asks Roisin V out on a date they ask the two others if they want to come, thus not actually confirming if indeed this is a date for Steve P and Roisin P. This becomes a sticky point later on. When taking in some horror movie we have the following seat line up: Steve G, Roisin V, Steve P and Roisin P. Steve G makes a tragic mistake by leaving just before a scary bit to acquire some love-corn, at which point Roisin V in a flit of terror has to cling to Steve P for safety. Roisin P looks on with mixed emotions and eye close-ups. Granted, if this embrace was just for a passing second it could be overlooked, however, it is held until Steve G returns. Roisin Vs excuse being I dont normally react like that. I warned ye, its the overly thick and dark eyebrows. eVil! The gecks are only veil over her darkness. With lover boy Steve G reassuring her that she is safe with him, until of course he tries to sell her to finance his tribute to Gamblord, they watch the rest of the movie. They confront the issue outside when the movie is over, with Steve P still convinced that it was just a group outing rather that a double date, much to Roisin Ps disappointment. She runs off claiming to be tired after the rest decide to go to Java or dot com for a coffee. Enter Roisin J (Jesus) who consoles her friend and pinpoints the blame on the witch. Later Roisin J is explaining to Roisin Vs mother how Roisin V causes bad things to happen and that she stole Steve P from Roisin P, only to have the eVil one over hear and setup a face off which will be elongated tomorrow (Tuesday).

Thankfully, at this point I stopped watching DOOL and read this book ("A Big Boy Did it and Ran Away" by Christopher Brookmyre) instead, which was really good. Might read "Boiling a Frog" by the same author. Currently reading "Stupid White Men: ...and Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation" by Michael Moore, which is very interesting and funny. Then there is "Why Do People Hate America?".

--
mond

Grundfos, Bjerringbro: Fox and Hounds in Shock Liaison

2004-09-07T15:01:00.000+01:00

Animal boozing...sickening.

And I think that the light brown dog's paw is on fire. :O

Looking for a pub to go watch the first world qualifier for Scotland, who are playing Slovenia. We only have about 30 cable channels at home and the are not showing the Scotland game but the Russian one.

The game is on Sky Sports 3 so we'll have to find a pub near us that has that channel.

The Sherlock Holmes Pub has Sky sports, after a quick Google. Oh and Chris, they have the bow.

Bow yeah....

Mariken arrived on Friday there so we (+ Andy) went to Århus on Saturday for a wee visit as the cultural festival was on, but turned out to be quite shitey. There are some pictures I'll put up when I remember. Highlight of Saturday day was finding out that the Cockney Pub sells Deuchars and dinner (a fancy, tastey burger thing).

The weather is blue skied and warm today again and is supposed to keep up for the rest of the week. Maybe some more frisbee action.

Bye bye,

--
mond

For a wider audiance...

2004-09-03T12:10:00.000+01:00

Finally put up some more photos a couple of days ago - just some from a BBQ two weekends ago.

Haven't taken any more yet as I haven't been up to much.

Last week I went to the local bodega (pub, but in dictionary it translates as "wine bar", which this place is far from) called Christiansborg on Thursday, Friday and Saturaday night. Though on Thursday I was back home sleeping by 10pm but the other two nights I was there till 3 and 4 am. People go a lot later to pubs here, so it doesn't start to fill up till after midnight. So I was most skint after that.

Got paid on Monday though! 40% TAX. Tities....

Still cleared about £470 though, so it's not too bad considering Grundfos pay for the house and utility bills.

Tomorrow we are going to go to the Århus festival but probably getting the last train home as I don't want to be stuck there. Then no doubt onto Christiansborg again to here more "Miah aah, Miah hee, Miah ha ha" from O-zone. YEAH. It must be on at least 3 times a night but either in normal speed or with 'mixed' fast beats. The music cycles round every couple of hours. :'( I am sadly starting to like the song. Poor, I know.

So today has been pretty relaxing, not actually doing much work. Got in about 8.30am (which is quite late as i usually start at 7.30am) and leaving at 3pm to go play ULTIMATE FRISBEE.

So a short day.

One last thing, for anyone that watches "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter", I missed an episode an now the Dad is dead and I don't know how... google to the rescue....

...

Oh shite, he is actually dead. :O

For our computer science readers...

2004-09-02T15:31:00.000+01:00

Oh dear god: Hacking Perl in Nightclubs

A couple of sickening quotes:

"I've had some successes, with hundreds of people dancing to my Perl, jumping about to my subroutines, whooping as I started up a new script."

"It could almost be the theme tune to an 8-bit computer game."

(There are many more)
...

However, I would actually like to go to one of his "gigs" and jump to his subroutines.

I even make myself sick.

I think I'll go download some code and have a go...

...not just right now though

... beer time.

Oh yeah.

--
mond

Surprise!

2004-08-26T09:46:00.000+01:00

Observations of The Danes No 0.1:

I have noticed that when I am talking to my Danish supervisor and I say something a little surprising (not hugely like I have three knobs but in a technical context) he breathes in sharply for a small duration, which is clearly audible.

I thought it was just my supervisor but when talking to other Danes and "listening" (the obviously speak in Danish which sounds like "huerdy-guerdy-buerdy" to me) to other conversations some of them do it too.

Maybe just in the older generation - that is over 35-ish - though, as I haven't heard the younger Danes I know do it.

Or maybe they all have breathing problems. Probably from too much salt in their diet. God, salt on bloody everything. If a Danish person offers you a "sweet", especially a black liquorice thing, DO NOT TAKE IT.

IT IS MADE FROM SALT.

YES, SALT.

IT IS LIKE PUTTING COARSE SALT INTO YOUR MOUTH THEN CHEWING.

MANK

Prince of Buchanan

2004-08-22T14:53:00.000+01:00

For some reason I've just remembered the "Prince of Persia" step on the escalator at Buchanan subway station, in Glasgow. It's the one that is a slightly different colour than the rest of joints, which means you'll plummet to your death if you step on it. It's on the airport-style flat escalator that takes you upwards from the station to the side of Queen Street Station.

Lets see you step on it then....

// mond

REMA 1000

2004-08-20T12:36:00.000+01:00

Went to the local pub last Friday with Jacob this time and enjoyed the Royal Classic and Royal Pilsner. I miss the feel of a pint glass, with its wee curved bit at the top. Though it holds roughly the same amount of beer than a bottle. Then I discovered that they do the Classic in a stein, i.e. a litre, but not according to dictionary.com. Was most good. Didn't feel it until I was going to bed (at the very late time of 10pm!) and the room was slightly spinning.

The people in the bar seem to have accepted us as we don't get so many looks now. I think the barmaid knows us know as she recognised the international sign for "one litre of beer please". A song I was enjoying was interrupted by a middle aged man who decided to turn on the TV and watch some Danish quiz show that involved the contestants singing too. It was received warmly by the others in the pub as they sang along too. Not sure if the songs were "Danish pop" or folk songs.

I also discovered that there is a self tap service, i.e. you can pour your own draught beer. There are four taps arranged on a round wooden vertical beam, in the middle of a round table with seats round the table. It even has a meter to record how much beer has been extracted, much like a self service petrol pump. Mainly impressed by the novelty factor, much like the tills at Tesco where you scan your own shopping.

On Saturday, we were supposed to go to Silkeborg (about 30km south of Bjerringbro) for a tour by one of Jacob's friends who lives there. However, being a Saturday we had a "long lie" (9am!) plus being lazy meant we missed the bus which leaves every two hours. As we were going to Herning for a BBQ at Jacbob's house, we had to leave that town for another time. So to get to Herning (about 50km south east of here), we had to get a train to Viborg then spend about an hour on a bus. And it took the senic route which was really nice, especially at it was a hot, blue skied day.

The BBQ: beer, meat, chips, beer, beer, vodka, a cabano cigar, beer and then a pizza. All good stuff. Highlights included visiting Rema 1000 (a supermarket - who knows why it has 1000 in its name), remolaude (a sauce thing for chips), GRILL FEST, the 36 bottles of the Classic (though shared between 2-3 of us), the white sauce on the pizza for preventive hangover measures, before going back to Jacobs.

There were two Scottish pubs in Herning: Murphys and The Fox and the Hound (the one we visited). Granted they had several soltaires, a fair range of whiskeys but no Tennents and no Drambuie, so in my book, not very Scottish. They also had a red telephone box, which is more of a London thing.

Next, was "Crazy Daisys", which was neither crazy nor did I find Daisy. Free pints though.

Found out that I will be taxed 40%!!!!! ...... T E A R S ! ! ! ! And I had plans for an shiny MP3 player. :'( If we had been staying an extra month (six) we would of got a fair amount back, but unfortunately I have go back to uni in January. The tax man we spoke to at the town hall said that this new legislation had been introduced just before the Euro expansion to "keep out people from Poland picking strawberries, for example" - not my words. It's not targetting at us, i.e. students on placement, but it's to get money from seasonal labour from eastern European countries. I understand why I have to get taxed - as that they can't discriminate, but 40% still is painful. At least I don't have to pay 2% church tax!!

My tax woes went unsympathised from other Danes as they are used to it. The shock is going from non-tax paying student in Scotland to 40%. The reason why people pay so much tax (compared to home - the other Nordic countries pay more, i think) is that Denmark is a social welfare state, so they pay nothing or little for things like health care. The bin man even comes round the back of our house to collect the bins! I was thinking of going to the dentist before I left to "get my moneys worth". :)

As the tax is so high here (compared to at home), i have found my moral compass un-skewed when I "steal" fruit from the canteen or "take" cake that is unguarded, because I rebute with "I pay 40% tax".

Now I have accepted the tax and have started to pay for the fruit.

....

The weather has taken a turn for the worse and has been raining so much... feels like home now :)

We are going to an olympic games thing being held by the electronics factory at 4pm so I hope the weather holds out. There will be beer too. Hopefully the Classic. We got invited by a Danish guy called Palle whom we met at the local pub two weeks ago.

Other plans for the weekend may include visting the other big town near here - Randers - and trying to get to grips with all the different modulation schemes for work. FUN TIMEZ.

I think that's all, have some photos to put up but the site won't upload them at the moment. Will get that fixed soon.

Righto, bye,

// Mond

The Danes

2004-08-12T00:00:00.000+01:00

Just over the last week I have noticed how relaxed the people around here are. For example, nearly everyone goes home on time, i.e. overtime - what's that?

And every Friday (for our team anyway) we have an informal "roll meeting", which consists of 20 minutes of eating bread rolls, with the options of butter, jam and chocolate plus coffee. The Danes have a thing about having 'open' sandwiches, i.e. in respect to the roll is halved then each half is eaten separately. I am starting to like doing it that way. I also found half a roll, butter and a 'slice' of dark chocolate to be very enjoyable. Not in a "touch ma willy" sort of way though.

I'm not entirely convinced that those around me actually do any work. So when the manager was in Germany for the day, everyone stood around talking, having more "roll" meetings and more general slacking.

Another example happened today when I was told that there was going to be free ice cream from 2pm. What? Is this some sort of new terrorist ploy? Or a "surprise". I never got the email. But no, it was actually because it has been hot here for a while so ice cream cones (Cornetto substitutes) where distributed down in the workshop. I had two. There was also a fridge/freezer that 'foxed' a few of them into thinking the ice creams were inside, as by 2.05pm there were still no promised ice creams.

Oh well, I like the laid back atmosphere...

Farvel, tiz home time. (I work 7.30am till 3.30pm (it's an hour ahead of Scotland), which after a week I actually prefer because I can enjoy the rest of the sun in my back garden).

--
// mond

Skede Ansigt

2004-08-09T02:51:00.000+01:00

Aiee. Won't say what the subject means, as it may distress our younger viewers.

When I was trying to pronounce it to Andy during work, I was fairly loud, and forgot that I was surrounded by The Danes. :0 Oh dear.

Ok, so, Hej! That's Danish for Hello, obviously! But it's the informal way, like Hi. I know like six Danish words/phrases so far (not including swear words). They are Ja = Yes, Nej = No, Hej = Hi, Tak = Thank you, Farvel = Goodbye (probably where the english word 'farewell' comes from), Taler due englesk? = Do you speak English? Then some other words, like days, months, numbers I can kind of work out as they as similar to English. I can work out some signs and things but just out of logic rather than translating. Would quite like to learn Danish but everyone speaks English and are happy to do so.

A little intro...

As part of my 5th year MEng degree, I am on an 5 month (August to December) industrial placement in Denmark, working for a company called Grundfos. I am with a good friend called Andy (or 'ma bitch' outside of working hours) and we are working on the same Grundfos project but it will have to be split into two projects fairly soon.

The project involves using an existing power cable between a submersible pump and an above water control unit as a data communications line. It should be very interesting but very challenging too.

I'm living in a company owned house in a town called Bjerringbro (pronounced B-yer-ing-bo) that has a population of approx. 6000. The house is split into four 'zones': Aztec, Futuristic, Medieval and Industrial (soon to be the Ocean Zone). :) Andy and I live in the Medieval zone and the rest are resident to Toby (a Swedish guy we hang around with), Jacob (a Danish guy who sometimes pops down but goes home at the weekends) and another Danish guy, whose name I can't remember because we hardly ever see him (he's a programmer).

I have took some pictures which you can find updated every week or so (along with this blog) at http://www.protactin.co.uk/photos/mond. There are some of the house there, which is quite nice especially as we don't have to pay for it. The town is really nice actually. So very quiet though, that it's like being in a ghost town sometimes (on Sundays and after 10pm when everyone is asleep?). We have already done several 'laps' of the town, well of the town center bits, as it's really small. Grundfos is the biggest employer around here as it employees around half the population! Though most work at the manufacturing facility.

Trying to write this on a crazy Danish keyboard where all the keys are in the 'wrong' place and several new ones thrown in too, like: æ å ø.

I think the letters are quite funny.

Though reading Danish and speaking it are quite different matters. Quite like English I suppose. I think Danish people drop a lot of bits from words as well, making it harder. I enquired about lessons but I might have to go to a place nearby called Vijborg.

Went there last Sunday on a wee day trip with Andy and Toby. In Vijborg we went to see the granite cathedral (most lovely - has all these frescos from the old and new testament and gold alter things), Danish history museum and before I left I had a wee ice cream cone (actually meaning large with 3 scoops and a weirdo but tasty strawberry foam stuff). Mmm, yum.

Getting to Denmark was quite a "3 day camel ride". Had to wait around at Stanstead for ages. But knew that anyway. Such a rubbish airport though. Had a sandwich from Pret a manger and a few Caffreys from O'Neils to pass the time. We went to check in really early when it opened at 5pm but the queue was doubled back on itself as there was no room. Took about 1.5 hours to check in!! And boarding was at 6.30pm! And then security took 15 mins so we were rushing to the gate. So our plans for a nice Wetherspoons dinner after security were no more. As there was still lots of people behind us, boarding was delayed and the plane was late anyway. Ryan Air sucks tha boaby!! Though the plane did have more leg room than Easyjet. As my luggage was 8 kg over the Ryan air limit (Easyjet let me away with it), I had to pay £32! And Andy who was 9 kg over didn't have to pay at all because they were so rushed and running late that they decided to let on all excess for F'KING FREE!! :( Was too rushed go complain. Was thinking of getting a better flight back from Copenhagen.

Was thinking of visiting there for a weekend of maybe if I can get a week off. Last Friday we have a small "party" to celebrate the monumental one week milestone. Bascially meant going to the super market to buy lots of beer (they actually have a good selection, including Scottish ales, like Caledonian 80/-!) then to the only pub to sit in the sun and drink more. I had a glass (NO PINTS HERE) of Royal Stout but that was a bit manky. Guinness is a lot smoother. We didn't get as many evil stares when we went into the pub this time, so they must know us now.

Apparently the town is full of gossips, as we were informed by a Danish guy, Palle, who we were talking to in the beer "garden". He has invited us to a BBQ sports event thing next weekend so that should be good. They are a bit crazy about volleyball and handball here - they even have a beach volleyball court on the Grundfos site. Remember that this is on the same latitude as central Scotland. I also tried the "national" Danish drink generally called Akvavit, which is really just schnapps. I had the unflavoured kind, which was ok, there is not that after taste like vodka. There is loads of different kinds and I think it is quite normal for people to make their own flavoured akvavit at home.

On the Saturday when went to a city called Århus (pronounced Or-hoose), the place we landed at. It is the second biggest city in Denmark and has a population of around 260,000, so it was really strange to see so many people! It combined the new with the old, which was reflected in the ranges of architecture. For instance, from the pictures, the Domkirke cathedral, the pink house, the blue hotel with the relaxed cafe/bar/pub street scene overlooking the canal. We visited the Den Gamle By which is a combination of recreated houses from the "old days" to form an interactive town. You can go in all the houses which are fully furnished to that time, ride on some fairground attractions, play the hoop game (as demonstrated by Andy), take a ride on the horse drawn carts and there is even people in costume that sit about. Interesting only for the first few houses, including the Mayor's house then the excitement of an other "half timber house" fades.

That's about it so far, if you have made it down to here then well done!

Thanks for reading, until next time....

--
// mond